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The Monk Joke
>> Thursday, April 2, 2009
THE MONK JOKE
A man was
driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from
any cities. He got a flat tire, and got out to walk for help.After
walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked
on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tire. Can I use your
phone?" He asked.
The monks said they were sorry, but they did
not have a phone. "If you stay tonight, you can get a ride on our wagon
into town tomorrow," they said. So the man stayed the night, and they
put him in a small room in the monastery.
In the middle of the
night, the man was awakened suddenly by a noise. Not just any noise,
but the loudest, most wonderful, most terrifying, most hair-raising
noise ever.
He sat there, his heart beating for a few minutes,
and he heard it again!Getting out of bed, he went running in the
direction of the noise. It came again, making the hair on the back of
his neck rise and his skin crawl. Finally, he came to a large door
where the head monk was standing. The door was at least 15 feet tall,
and made of solid-looking wood and metal. It had chains and bars and
locks and a deadbolt on it, and was the most formidable door the man
had ever seen.
"What was that sound?" He asked. "What made it? Is it behind that door?"
The head monk shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said. "I can't tell you; you're not a monk."
As the man turned away, he heard the noise again. "You have to tell me what it is," he begged.
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you, you're not a monk," said the monk.
The
man tried to sleep, but couldn't get the noise out of his head. In the
morning, as he was getting ready to leave, he heard the sound again. It
made his ears ring and his mind whirl."Please tell me what made that
sound," he said.
But the monks wouldn't. "I'm sorry, you're not a monk" was all they said.
The
man left, and eventually got his car fixed and went back to his life.
But he couldn't get the sound out of his mind. After a few months, he
got in his car and drove and drove until he found the monastery again.
He got out of his car and found the head monk. "I can't forget that
sound from that night I was here. Please, please please tell me what
made that sound." The head monk just shook his head.
"I can't tell you; you're not a monk," he said."Then tell me how I can become a monk," the man said.
The
head monk said "It's very difficult. Are you sure you want to do
this?"The man said "I've got to. I have to know what made that
sound."The head monk said, "To join us, you have to perform several
tasks. Your first task is to count all of the stars visible in the sky."
The
man thought about how hard that would be, but he had to know what made
that sound. He sat up every night for a year, counting the stars over
and over until he was sure how many stars were visible in the sky. He
went to the head monk and told him, and the monk nodded.
"Very
good. Your next task is to count all of the grains of sand on the
beaches around the world."The man knew this would be even harder, but
he could not get the noise out of his head. He had to know what, what
kind of animal, could make that terrible horrible mind-bending sound.
So he left on his journeys. He crawled the length and breadth of every
beach in the world, counting the grains of sand, and he returned to the
monastery years later.The head monk heard his answer and nodded.
"Excellent.
You are almost done. Your final task is to climb to the peak of the
highest mountain in the world, and see yourself in relation to the rest
of creation." And the man knew this would be hard, but he outfitted
himself, and he went to the highest mountain in the world, and he
climbed to the top, and returned months later, older and wiser and more
tired than years before when he had first heard the noise, the noise
that would not leave his mind and that echoed in his every waking
thought.He returned, and the head monk saw that he was wiser, and said
"At last, you are a monk. Come with me."
And they walked through
the monastery, its twisting and turning halls, and as they went the man
heard the noise again, over and over, and he was no longer sure if it
was the noise or merely his memory of it.And finally, finally, he stood
in front of the door and the head monk opened it up, and the man saw
what had made the noise.
To find out what he heard, scroll down
I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. You are not a monk. (hehehe)
Read more...
A man was
driving in the middle of nowhere down a secluded country road far from
any cities. He got a flat tire, and got out to walk for help.After
walking for some time, he came to a small stone monastery. He knocked
on the door and roused the monks. "I've got a flat tire. Can I use your
phone?" He asked.
The monks said they were sorry, but they did
not have a phone. "If you stay tonight, you can get a ride on our wagon
into town tomorrow," they said. So the man stayed the night, and they
put him in a small room in the monastery.
In the middle of the
night, the man was awakened suddenly by a noise. Not just any noise,
but the loudest, most wonderful, most terrifying, most hair-raising
noise ever.
He sat there, his heart beating for a few minutes,
and he heard it again!Getting out of bed, he went running in the
direction of the noise. It came again, making the hair on the back of
his neck rise and his skin crawl. Finally, he came to a large door
where the head monk was standing. The door was at least 15 feet tall,
and made of solid-looking wood and metal. It had chains and bars and
locks and a deadbolt on it, and was the most formidable door the man
had ever seen.
"What was that sound?" He asked. "What made it? Is it behind that door?"
The head monk shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said. "I can't tell you; you're not a monk."
As the man turned away, he heard the noise again. "You have to tell me what it is," he begged.
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you, you're not a monk," said the monk.
The
man tried to sleep, but couldn't get the noise out of his head. In the
morning, as he was getting ready to leave, he heard the sound again. It
made his ears ring and his mind whirl."Please tell me what made that
sound," he said.
But the monks wouldn't. "I'm sorry, you're not a monk" was all they said.
The
man left, and eventually got his car fixed and went back to his life.
But he couldn't get the sound out of his mind. After a few months, he
got in his car and drove and drove until he found the monastery again.
He got out of his car and found the head monk. "I can't forget that
sound from that night I was here. Please, please please tell me what
made that sound." The head monk just shook his head.
"I can't tell you; you're not a monk," he said."Then tell me how I can become a monk," the man said.
The
head monk said "It's very difficult. Are you sure you want to do
this?"The man said "I've got to. I have to know what made that
sound."The head monk said, "To join us, you have to perform several
tasks. Your first task is to count all of the stars visible in the sky."
The
man thought about how hard that would be, but he had to know what made
that sound. He sat up every night for a year, counting the stars over
and over until he was sure how many stars were visible in the sky. He
went to the head monk and told him, and the monk nodded.
"Very
good. Your next task is to count all of the grains of sand on the
beaches around the world."The man knew this would be even harder, but
he could not get the noise out of his head. He had to know what, what
kind of animal, could make that terrible horrible mind-bending sound.
So he left on his journeys. He crawled the length and breadth of every
beach in the world, counting the grains of sand, and he returned to the
monastery years later.The head monk heard his answer and nodded.
"Excellent.
You are almost done. Your final task is to climb to the peak of the
highest mountain in the world, and see yourself in relation to the rest
of creation." And the man knew this would be hard, but he outfitted
himself, and he went to the highest mountain in the world, and he
climbed to the top, and returned months later, older and wiser and more
tired than years before when he had first heard the noise, the noise
that would not leave his mind and that echoed in his every waking
thought.He returned, and the head monk saw that he was wiser, and said
"At last, you are a monk. Come with me."
And they walked through
the monastery, its twisting and turning halls, and as they went the man
heard the noise again, over and over, and he was no longer sure if it
was the noise or merely his memory of it.And finally, finally, he stood
in front of the door and the head monk opened it up, and the man saw
what had made the noise.
To find out what he heard, scroll down
I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. You are not a monk. (hehehe)
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Garlic Bread and Dr Pepper: The Ultimate Communion
>> Tuesday, March 17, 2009
This is the body, buttered, salted, and cheesed up perfectly and completely for you.
The butter: In Christ, life might not be easy (in fact it wont be easy), however our burdens our not our own. Therefore even when we seem to be stuck, we have the butter...the Son of God...to help us through.
The salt, because everything tastes better with salt. Christ came to show us that WE are the salt of the earth through him. So, is up to us to show others how they too are the salt and how each and every one of us favor the lives of those around us.
The Cheese represents our relationship with God. Cheese enhances everything you put it on...a sandwich, a salad...or even cheese just by itself. But, once you warm that cheese up, it begins to melt around and through everything. When we warm up to God, the mystery begins to enhance everything around and in us so that in time, we are completely saturated with God's love. And just like when you grab a slice of warm pizza and the cheese strings from the two parts, God will also make bridges so that even when one of the Great Spirit's numbers is separated from others, there is still a connecting thread through Christ.
THIS is his body broken for you, partake in it as often as you can in remembrance of him.
Drink, this is the blood pour out for you.
Dr Pepper is made up of many different flavors. God, consequently is also made up of many different flavors. Some flavors make perfect sense together while other favors seem confusing that they are part of the total combination the same. If one were to take out any one favor from Dr Pepper's ingredients, they would forever change what Dr Pepper was and it probably not be as good as it is now. In much the same way, God is and will forever be many different things and show up in many different places. Sometimes God shows up in ways that we find confusing, unorthodox, or just plain hard to understand, however God IS in those things and it is through those things (as much as anything else) that make God SO good.
Dr Pepper also has caffeine to keep us going. This is similar to how the Mystery keeps us going. Even though there will be times when we feel as though we have nothing left to give, through Christ we can carry on knowing that at the times when we become too tired, he will carry us while we rest in him.
THIS is the blood of The One, poured out for us so that we may have a chance to know him better. Partake in this as often as you can in recognition of the awe-filled experience that is God's goodness.
And now for a letter from my dear from Obama
>> Tuesday, March 10, 2009
After posting the blog the other day about McCain, I only feel that it is right to show that I am not just republican bashing...so, without further delay...the following is an email I received this morning from the Obama folks. At the end of the email, I will share my opinion.
Adam --
Just over a week ago, President Obama submitted his first budget and made it clear he was ready for the fight to come.
The President isn't alone. We're ready for that fight too -- it's what you built this movement for.
Watch a video I recorded announcing our new initiative, the Organizing for America Pledge Project:
Americans are ready for the bold new direction this plan offers. It's what they voted for in November, and it's needed now more than ever as we continue to face an unprecedented economic crisis.
But the special interests and old ways of Washington won't go away easily. In fact, they'll only fight back harder.
It's up to you to organize support for President Obama's plan throughout the country. It's the only way we'll get the change this country needs.
Take the next step now in our fight to bring change:
http://my.barackobama.com/pledgeproject
Thanks,
Mitch
Mitch Stewart
Director
Organizing for America
This email is one of the biggest actually problems facing this country. This polarizing war language is disgusting! This short email has the word "fight" in it FOUR times! It talks about this plan being the ONLY way...this is an absolutely ignorant way of thinking. To assume that you, and you alone know the only thing that will work is to set your self up to fail miserably and take the entire country with you. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed the near Jesus-like quotes that we are getting from politicians these days....isn't that bizarre?!
An Email from my Dear friend John :)
>> Friday, March 6, 2009
Please ready the way to the bottom for my opinions about this article
-----Original Message-----
From: John McCain
Sent: Thursday, March 05, 2009 7:07 PM
To: amarlin13@gmail.com
Subject: Stop the Reckless Pork Barrel Spending
My Friend,
While campaigning for change, Barack Obama said, "We need earmark reform, and when I'm President, I will go line by line to make sure that we are not spending money unwisely." But now the President is about to sign a huge 2,697 page spending bill with over 9,000 unnecessary and wasteful earmarks. That's not the "change" we are looking for. I have called on the President to take a principled stand and veto the bill if it is sent to him, but unfortunately, he appears ready to sign it into law, which is nothing more than politics as usual.
It's no secret that I've spent my political career fighting against out-of-control, wasteful spending in Congress. And in nearly 30 years, I have never witnessed the type of alarming and irresponsible spending as I have seen in Washington over the past few weeks.
I am appalled to see this legislation being rushed through the Congress while containing so many egregious earmarks. It is unconscionable that while we are asking Americans to do more with less in these trying economic times we are about to spend $1.7 million for pig odor research in Iowa, $2 million for the promotion of astronomy in Hawaii, $475,000 for a parking garage in Provo City, Utah, $300,000 to build a Montana World Trade Center, and $150,000 for a rodeo museum in South Dakota.
Simply put, your federal tax dollars should not be funding these types of projects.
Let me put this all in perspective -- our country is currently nearly $11 trillion dollars in debt. Our projected deficit for 2009 alone is an alarming $2 trillion dollars. Just two weeks ago, President Obama signed a bill that the Democratic-led Congress passed to spend an additional $1 trillion in "stimulus spending." And on top of all of this, President Obama has requested $3.6 trillion in additional spending for 2010.
This type of spending should not happen and we must be principled and stop it!
I'm asking you to join me today in supporting the effort to stop this wasteful spending. I'm urging you to make an immediate donation of $25, $50, $100, $250, $500 or whatever you can give to my re-election campaign for the U.S. Senate to continue the fight to bring an end to wasteful spending.
Unfortunately, under the influence of the far-left, America is being led down a spending path that will be destructive to our children and grandchildren. And it is up to us to fight against this type of reckless spending.
Please follow this link to make an immediate donation to my re-election campaign to bring my message of ending wasteful, pork barrel spending to the American people. Your support will make a huge impact on my ability to fight on your behalf.
My friend, I have fought against wasteful spending in Washington for many decades and I promise you, I will not give up this fight until we have put America on the right track toward fiscal responsibility and a balanced budget. Thank you again for your continued support.
Sincerely,
John McCain
P.S. Spending in Washington is out-of-control and it's up to us to stop it. The Democratic-controlled Congress has passed spending bills stuffed with pork that will dig our country further into debt. This spending is not stimulating our economy. I'm asking you to take action today by following this link to make the most generous contribution you can to my re-election campaign, so that I am able to take this message directly to the American people and stop earmarks once and for all. Please join the fight today. Thank you.
Please visit this page if you want to remove yourself from the email list.
Paid for by Friends of John McCain
** End of Message **
Ok, and now on to my opinion. If you agree with John Mcain then stop reading now.
How DARE John Mcain say anything thing about spending or pork. Honestly, i think he might actually be MADE of pork. Here, he is sending an email where he talks about how we are having to cut back because of economic problems. This coming from a man that when asked during a compaign, he could not answer as to exactly how many houses he actually owned. Ha! What the HELL could he POSSIBLY have to say to me about finances.
Then, as if he were Satan himself, he then askes for money!! John McCain, you might honestly be the worst two-faced type of evil currently in existence here in the United State and it is YOU that are ruining this country!! NOT the democrates...NOT even the Republicans...YOU, John McCain, are the problem with this country!!
You sit on your thrown far removed from any thing that us normal people would experience in our regular everyday life and you talk to us as though you are Jesus himself. Believe it or not John, you are NOT what this country needs!
I hope you come to see this truth soon and that you are able to get your rectal-cranial inversion corrected before getting re-elected on a platform that could easily be the beginning of the end for this country as we know it.
And another thing, I am getting sick and tired of this "war-vocabulary"...Stop saying that we are FIGHTING AGAINST each other or that we need a plan of ATTACK or that any one is DISTROYING something or that we must be VICTORIOUS against the ENEMY. Its disgusting, polarizing, frustrating, childish, unhealthy, and counter-productive. STOP IT.
Whew...glad to get this off my chest...now to get back to my position of neutrality. -smile-
The difference between OKC and Tulsa...for me
>> Thursday, January 22, 2009
You see, I stay pretty involved with the interpreter organization for the area that I live in.
For Tulsa, that was GCRID and in OKC that is OKRID....technically GCRID is part of OKRID...but they've always sort of acted as though they are not affiliated is OKRID. Anyways, in Tulsa I was involved with GCRID...first as Vice-President and then as President for two years. The best part of this...No ONE LIKED ME! I am not saying this for sympathy as I could honestly care less what their opinion was/is of me. I say this to point out my experience there. My second term as President of GCRID is when I got a very distinct feeling that they were ONLY reelecting me because I was good at what I did...NOT because they wanted to associate with me. There was only a very small number of interpreters there that didn't whince when I spoke to them.
Here in OKC it has been a strange transition for me. I of course quickly became involved with OKRID, but sort of stayed out of the conversations. Some of this is because of a confrontation that I had with someone a few weeks before I moved which confirmed that my reputation was racing me to OKC and winning. I started working and pretty much stayed as quiet and out of the way as possible. I had made the decision early into my move that I would rather remain virtually anonamous than deal with the non-sense I dealt with in Tulsa. This suited me just fine as I prefer the quiet life for the most part anyways. Don't misunderstand, I enjoy the occasional spirited debate, but I am happy with being unknown. So, thats the role I played...for quite a while. However, there is something odd that has taken place these past several months...folks have actually smiled in my direction and asked how I was doing...they have asked me to do things...not because they knew I could but didnt want to....but because they actually seem to like me...its very bizarre and I have to say that it really says something that in the year that I have lived here I have more friends in the interpreting community than I ever did the 4 or 5 years in Tulsa.
A bit sad for them really... I like it here though and honestly, I would be okay with staying here for a long time if that were in the cards. Wait and see I guess
~Micheal
Read more...
For Tulsa, that was GCRID and in OKC that is OKRID....technically GCRID is part of OKRID...but they've always sort of acted as though they are not affiliated is OKRID. Anyways, in Tulsa I was involved with GCRID...first as Vice-President and then as President for two years. The best part of this...No ONE LIKED ME! I am not saying this for sympathy as I could honestly care less what their opinion was/is of me. I say this to point out my experience there. My second term as President of GCRID is when I got a very distinct feeling that they were ONLY reelecting me because I was good at what I did...NOT because they wanted to associate with me. There was only a very small number of interpreters there that didn't whince when I spoke to them.
Here in OKC it has been a strange transition for me. I of course quickly became involved with OKRID, but sort of stayed out of the conversations. Some of this is because of a confrontation that I had with someone a few weeks before I moved which confirmed that my reputation was racing me to OKC and winning. I started working and pretty much stayed as quiet and out of the way as possible. I had made the decision early into my move that I would rather remain virtually anonamous than deal with the non-sense I dealt with in Tulsa. This suited me just fine as I prefer the quiet life for the most part anyways. Don't misunderstand, I enjoy the occasional spirited debate, but I am happy with being unknown. So, thats the role I played...for quite a while. However, there is something odd that has taken place these past several months...folks have actually smiled in my direction and asked how I was doing...they have asked me to do things...not because they knew I could but didnt want to....but because they actually seem to like me...its very bizarre and I have to say that it really says something that in the year that I have lived here I have more friends in the interpreting community than I ever did the 4 or 5 years in Tulsa.
A bit sad for them really... I like it here though and honestly, I would be okay with staying here for a long time if that were in the cards. Wait and see I guess
~Micheal
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